Tuesday, 26 April 2011

365 Self Love Project (#37)

Thing I love about myself of the day (26/4/11)

That I might actually be almost entirely over my ex. 
I don't want to throw myself a pity-party here so I'll endeavour to keep this as under the old hat as possible (if that makes any sense at all :p). Basically it has been almost 7 months since the man who I dated for 6 years (and for much of that we were engaged as well) called time on the relationship. I thought I'd never recover, and as recently as March I was still struggling with the crushing pain of it (even though I had (and have!) the wonderful Damien, the hurt and pain of October 4 didn't subside much). 
But I received an email from him last week detailing something awful that had happened to him (he only emailed me because this awful thing meant he couldn't take my stuff to my uni for me, otherwise we don't communicate lest it cause confusion/further pain). For the life of me I could not have predicted my reaction to the email: yes there was a genuine concern for what had happened to him and a rage at those who had caused it, but every last emotion was more platonic than I've ever felt towards him before: I even hoped- sincerely hoped- that his new girlfriend was looking after him. And no longer felt an ounce of jealousy towards her about it either.

I'm under no illusions: I know I still have a long way to go (for instance, I still have no idea how I'd feel/react if I heard his voice, saw him on the street or even saw a recent photo of him) but this is the most at peace with the whole situation that I think I've felt to date. And I have a lot of positive feeling that it's going to keep getting better - touch wood!  ;)

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